Cloud and Townsend on Saying Yes and No

There’s a lot to love and hate about this book, but occasionally, there are moments that provide some interesting ideas to ponder. Here’s a few of them.

…an internal no nullifies an external yes. God is more concerned with our hearts than he is with our outward compliance. […]

In other words, we say yes to God or anyone else when we really mean no, we move into a position of compliance. And that is the same as lying. Our lips say yes, but our hearts (and often our half-hearted actions) say no. […]

We can’t manipulate people into swallowing our boundaries by sugarcoating them. Boundaries are a “litmus test” for the quality of our relationships. Those people in our lives who can respect our boundaries will love our wills, our opinions, our separateness. Those who can’t respect our boundaries are telling us that they don’t love our no. They only love our yes, our compliance.[…]If everything you say is loved by everyone, the odds are good that you’re bending the truth

Cloud & Townsend, Boundaries P. 106, 108