Why I’m Bad at Blogging…and Life

Greetings faithful readers!

My last post was in thanksgiving. Since then I’ve worked as the conference administrator for the World Changers Summit, finished our last worldview class, went to work as the classroom director for Summit Ministries’ Colorado student conferences and now I’m sitting in Florida listening to Laurie Jalbert give the final presentation for our first retreat. Plus, my sister had her baby, I bought a car and virtually all of my friends got married.

A lot of life happens in 10 months.

In spite of all this, I’m still compelled to ask: Why am I so bad at blogging? The answer could be that I’m trying to focus, that I was managing almost all of the blog content for the WCS blog (see here), that I need more time. But the truth is that I have trouble writing because I’d rather be amazing than consistent.

There is deep within me a pride that self-edits any attempt at progress to death. If it doesn’t make my socks roll up-and-down instantly then it’s obviously going to be bad and I should obviously just move on.

Meaning, nonsensically, I get embarrassed by work I haven’t done.

So post after post sits half-completed in the draft folder, the semi-good never getting published because it isn’t great; the great never getting published because it’s never written. The irony being that the great will never happen because the great grows from the good.

I fail at blogging because I fail at risking.

The shame of publishing something that’s bad is more painful than the shame of having tumble weeds blow across my humble corner of the internet.

More importantly, I fail at life because I fail at risking.

The shame of committing to something that might not work out is more painful than the the life of safe inertia.

The quiet apathy whispers, “Don’t worry about it” as my eyes close above folded arms and the spirit of the consumer devourse the spirit of the producer.

In that moment, the second hand continues it’s militant circit and my right hand clicks away the talants God gave me to invest.

All is quiet in this square foot of creation because I often think that God is offended by the noise of His own calling.

7 thoughts on “Why I’m Bad at Blogging…and Life

  • September 6, 2012 at 8:35 pm
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    Thanks, David! I am standing at one of those crossroads where the next step is a massive risk… so I really appreciated this reminder that risks are important, and that perfection is often the enemy of accomplishment. As a friend recently reminded me, “Fail early and fail often!” Otherwise we never move, never grow, never produce! So here’s to risks and failures! :-D

    • September 7, 2012 at 3:04 pm
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      Hey friend! I totally hear you!

      I’ve been in a very similar situation over the past few months. Some big opportunities have presented themselves and “the fear of failure” has had more than its fair share of influence.

      I toast to your health and prosperity with my eco-friendly Starbucks cup.

  • September 7, 2012 at 8:51 pm
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    Thanks for vocalizing this, David. It’s a very timely reminder to me. This summer I kept getting cold feet about the risks I am taking in life. It’s a struggle to agree to do something that I know I will miserably fail at, apart from God at my side. God knows it’s just what my pride needs though. It’s a battle to not allow my drive for perfection to hold me back. Truly, only God’s grace keeps me forging ahead and loyal to His calling.

    • September 7, 2012 at 9:26 pm
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      Hey T! It’s been too long!

      I agree; we’d do really well to appreciate the irony of how much our drive holds us back.

  • September 10, 2012 at 10:41 am
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    It’s good to see you post again… and I have to echo what Teresa and Katie have said already. I spent all weekend writing a paper about serial verbs in Chinese… it grew to seven pages, and it was a pain to finally cut out examples that I knew would only make the paper longer, even though they might make it more complete. The paper got turned in two days late, and I kept telling myself, “the prof wants the paper, he doesn’t want perfection.” No matter how much I cut back, the process of completion was long. Hope we’ll learn this lesson before too long.

  • September 10, 2012 at 11:42 am
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    Hey buddy!

    Exactly right! I was preparing my sermon yesterday and was planning to do an exposition of a third paragraph (even though I’d already done two), but the moment I cut that entire section, the whole sermon got better (and still went an hour).

    Mr. Harris once said, “The best movies are made on the cutting room floor”.

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